Professor Jane Jarman, NLS https://www.ntu.ac.uk/staff-profiles/law/jane-jarman
So, it is that time of year again. The time for goblins of all types to lurk around, resplendent in garments of varying spookiness, in search of treats. Never tricks. People and goblins alike want treats. Chocolate always wins. Always.
I offered to write a law themed Halloween blog post. It seemed like a good idea at the time. So, I did a little light Google searching about “lawyers and Halloween. Now, I never want to leave the house again.
It turns out that I have unearthed (pun intended) a bubbling cauldron of Halloween themed trouble brewing, and it is not looming out of the fog of the marshes of Dickensian London (actually, there is some Dickens later). No. I read all about it on the Internet, so it must be true.
Nightmares lurk everywhere on Halloween. If you want to really scare yourself senseless, do a Halloween Risk Assessment. Home insurance claims usually spike at Halloween or “mischief night” as it is called by some insurers. It turns out that there are numerous Halloween Hazards: slips and trips associated with spooky costumes, pumpkin carving injuries (pumpkins do not co-operate), make up irritation, flammable pointy hats, and traffic accidents. Deploy some non-flammable reflective tape before you go anywhere.
And there is more. There are likely to be potential employment claims arising out of “pranks” that escalate into targeted bullying and harassment. HR directors will be running to the policy manual and the insurance policy before long.
We have yet to start on potential liability for trespass or offences such as vandalism.
And, also, there are the lawyer jokes. Lots of them. Vampire bites lawyer and breaks fangs shock Devil’s advocate. The list is endless.
Lawyer as demonic force does, of course, have a long history. Personally, I have always had my suspicions about the three witches in Macbeth. They just have to be lawyers. Aimlessly standing around in a group of three until consulted. Stirring the pot. Huge list of bizarre but necessary disbursements like “eye of newt.” Being Delphic. Knowing someone is going to walk into a heap of trouble. Preparing the “I told you so” response when it all unravels. I rest my case. The evidence is compelling…they have to be lawyers.
In the alternative, even if I am wrong (which is denied), there is compelling evidence that lawyers are the architects of all things Halloween. For instance, we ended up in level three of Dante’s Inferno in The Divine Comedy. We got off lightly to be honest. It turns out that qualification as a lawyer marks you out as one of the potential undead. I shall skirt around the zombie allusions. Perhaps it is the black gown and all that troops with majesty. However, just turning up, brief in hand, is all the effort required for a passable Halloween costume…
We have form for this kind of thing. An engraving which hangs in the National Portrait Gallery, “The First Day of Term – or The Devil Amongst the Lawyers” depicts the devil showering the assembled barristers with briefs on which to feast and make merry. This may explain the fact that new barristers often spend time “devilling” for a more senior barrister in drafting and research tasks. There is ethical guidance on appropriate work for devilling and appointing a devil, which is nice.
Solicitors make appearances in spooky legal literature. Well, they would, wouldn’t they?
In Dracula (always busy on Halloween – a pity Bram Stoker is out of copyright), it is the newly qualified solicitor Jonathan Harker who trots off to Transylvania in search of the elusive Count. Dracula, we find, has a sizable law library, is an avid reader of court judgments, and leaves Harker “with the impression that he would have made a wonderful solicitor.” Well, that is a boon for recruitment advert and lawyer jokes. We also learn that Dracula retained several well-established London solicitors in his extensive property dealings. Presumably, the anti money laundering checks came back without a blemish…
Some solicitors (in literature only, honestly …) are terrifying, such as Mr Tulkinghorn in Bleak House who is an ever present and menacing spectre whilst doing Sir Leicester Dedlock’s bidding. Some solicitors are terrified, such as Arthur Kipps in Susan Hill’s The Woman in Black when the presence of the pale and glass eyed woman dressed in black is the harbinger of something truly terrifying.
However, on occasion, the solicitor is deployed to give a goblin or other ghostly apparition a proper telling off, using powers of persuasion and negotiation. So, I turn to Dickens. Inevitably. This is not a jaunt to Bleak House, but The Pickwick Papers. Yes, really. The Pickwick Papers, for a ghost story for Halloween…
Chapter XXI, contains the story of an impoverished lawyer who takes “old, damp, rotten” chambers “in one of the most ancient inns, which had been shut up and empty for years and years before.” Yes. You have guessed it. Those chambers are not, as it turns out, entirely empty…
A spirit guards an old chest (which was about to be deposited on the fire) housing “the papers in a long, long suit, which accumulated for years…. not one farthing was left for my unhappy decedents.” We see a disgruntled and penniless client as the unhappy ghost, haunting the solicitor, even though he was not responsible for the contents of the chest.
However, it is the solicitor’s advice to the hapless ghost that is the most telling. Why should the ghost lurk around damp and dreary chambers in the Inns when the opportunity of visiting “the fairest spots of earth.”
This piece of advocacy convinces the ghost to go on an extended holiday. A bit of examination in chief during a haunting never hurt anyone. Apparently. After this novel exercise in complaints handling, the ghost leaves at a pace,
“You are very right, Sir,” said the ghost politely, “it never struck me till now; I’ll try change of air directly”—and, in fact, he began to vanish as he spoke; his legs, indeed, had quite disappeared.
So, any problems with ghosts and goblins this Halloween could be greeted with a bit of judicious questioning, and the advice that they could go anywhere they wish.
I imagine that they will want the treat first. Stock up on the chocolate anyway. Chocolate always wins. Always.
Further Reading:
Comments